I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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