It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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