Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My pussy is not your playground.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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