So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
