Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
