I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize