the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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