Moan for me like Helen Keller
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
