Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
