i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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