My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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