So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
