apparently the secret to your success is patron
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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