i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize