where does the pee come out of this thing
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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