I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
