you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wish there were birth control emojis
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
