it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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