Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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