Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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