and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
