We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
