Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
