Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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