Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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