I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
