Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
