ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
