i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I currently don't understand fingers.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
