Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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