Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
