I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
