READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
