they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
