You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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