Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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