we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
