ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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