the condom got lost in my hair
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
