when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
