I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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