you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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