My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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