they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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