I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
