I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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