I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
