I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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