Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
