I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
