just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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