Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
