What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
