Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
