You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My vagina is officially offended.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
