Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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