I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
